Written with his testicles in a vice by Danny SoZ
Hello there. I’m Gaz and I’m an incorrigible thug. My life has been a long catalogue of perpetrating extreme acts of violence and keeping fit.
Today, I’m going to show you how to reduce that unsightly belly and tone those wobbly thighs the simple and easy way. No need for loose clothing or bottles of energy drink for this one folks. Here we go then!
1 – Stop being a greedy fucker and do some exercise or I’ll come round your drum and shove a burning petrol-soaked rag up your nostrils you mug!
NEXT WEEK: Gaz threatens to put 3000 volts through your genitalia and throw your body in the Thames if you don’t stop guzzling suet pudding.
Gary “Gaz” Hoadley is Vice-President of The Get Fit Or Get Flattened Violent Offenders Association
The League of Mental Men! 
There is only one man on this planet, that can make me howl with laughter.
And that is my dear old China, Danny Soz. And, he is the only person on this planet, that would get away with ripping the shit out of me.
A brilliant Satirist and writer, who deserves more than a few “Likes”
I love it mate, pure class. xxxx
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks China. That was perfect and just as we rehearsed it. Usual fee I take it? 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Can you deliver it to my secret location at; Cell 23. The Ones. A wing. One Hammer Toe Bay. Cuba.
LikeLike
I went to Cuba with Picasso once. Cubes everywhere. I ended up knocking him out. He loved it to be fair to the boy
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Satire Scrapyard and commented:
I’ve got me reputaion to fink of yu know!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m going to rudely ignore this and get on with writing a right-wing film script about a moose in Florida who folded like a girl. It stars Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp as me and Hilda Ogden as your nob.
LikeLiked by 1 person