Outcry as Whitechapel MP is Caught Masturbating in Parliament

 

seeing-eye-dog

Mr Dankworth-Carter’s dog pictured outside his home yesterday

 

 

There were calls for tighter controls on MP’s behaviour in The House of Commons yesterday as Speaker John Berkow, had to remonstrate with a conservative MP who was masturbating during a debate on the common agricultural policy.

The MP in question, Toby Dankworth-Carter, the member for Whitechapel East, was also picked up on camera, looking red-faced and furtive with his right hand down the front of his trousers.

Mr. Dankworth-Carter, married with 4 children, later defended his actions; telling reporters he was “bored” and wanted to “clear his tubes” before visiting his girlfriend later that evening.

Opposition leader, Jeremy Corbyn, condemned Mr. Dankworth-Carter’s conduct last night, calling it “unparliamentary” and showing “a lack of respect for the democratic process”. He called for Dankworth-Carter’s immediate deselection, stating that, “The Commons debating chamber is not the place to be blowing your custard”

Corbyn, who is currently under fire over perceived anti-Semitic leanings, looked visibly disappointed and stalked away from reporters after he was told that Dankworth-Carter is a Roman Catholic.

This is only the second time that a sitting MP has been involved in a self-abuse incident. The other occasion was in 1783, when, William Pitt The Younger – the then prime minister – was called to order by The Speaker after shooting his bolt over The Mace during an all-night debate on The Poor Laws.

For more tales of parliamentary indiscretions and scalding jizz, why not visit:

https://thewhelkwordpresscom.wordpress.com/

It’s a bit like this blog but with a bit more class…ish

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1 Comment

Filed under Satire

One response to “Outcry as Whitechapel MP is Caught Masturbating in Parliament

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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