written by Lord Garfield of Hoadley
Edited by Baron Clivey of Dee, 19.
Typical Tory ain’t he, that David Cameron? He don’t want no immigrants on the manor despite all the good they do for the bloody country! What the bleedin’ hell does he know abart it eh? We East Enders have looked after the bloody immigrants since time began and we done it out of the goodness of our ‘earts too!
Take your bloody Huguenots for example. They came over, and we took them into our homes without a thought for our own safety. Mind you, we didn’t like the garlic, so we moved them on.
Then there was yer Jews of course. They did a nice hot beef sandwich, so we let them stay a bit longer. After that, we had your Asians swarming in. We knew they had nowhere to go so we had them over here in the East End, can’t get rid of the buggers now mind you.
Right, I’m off to me council meeting to approve Pakistani Pat’s drinks license.
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Thank you. That will be all.