This piece was conceived and written by Lord Garfield Hoadley of Tobruk (Mrs) and maliciously edited by The Right Bloody Reverend Clivey Dee, 19.
Look! If that Corbyn geezer came over here and tried to turn the pie and mash shop into a vegan eatery, I should get hold of him by the Gregory and tell him to sling his hook. I’m not having a lily-livered leftie turning my Maureen into a boiler suit-wearing painter and decorator!
She works in the cleaners in the Roman Road Market…Been there for years she has, and anyway, she don’t vote. She’s not been able to go in a polling station ever since Mrs. Thatcher was shafted by John Major in the 80s. Took to her bed for 3 weeks after that she did. Her and the coalman both. So he’s wasting his time ain’t he?
I went to that House Of Parliament once. Full of poofs and
old geezers in flash suits it was. Complete waste of waste of thirty bob.
Anyway, I’m off to me council meeting in a minute. We’re gonna try and ban the Gay and Lesbian Pride march through Aldgate on Saturday”.
I mean to say, you can’t have that sort of caper going on in Stepney can yers? What my nan would have made of all this I shudder to think.
Sir Alf Garnett appears at the top of this skit courtesy of The Tottenham Hotspurs FC Ladies Formation Origami Bastards Appreciation League.
19-year-old editor’s note: This skit will shortly be appearing here: https://thewhelkwordpresscom.wordpress.com – and so should you to be perfectly honest.