London Tube Escalator Directive Unfair to Drunks Says Pressure Group

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The recent directive from Transport for London, which calls for people to stand still on both the left and the right side of escalators at London’s underground stations, has been attacked as being unfair to drunks and people with full bladders by a drinker’s pressure group.

People Against Sensible Drinking, hit out last night in a strongly-worded statement: “We see this directive as an infringement of our human rights and another unwarranted attack on those of us who enjoy a good skinful before traveling on public transport. Remaining still with 8 or 9 pints tucked under your belt is simply too much to ask in our view. Surely TFL could allow for a bit of unsteady swaying from side to side, the odd stumble, or hopping from one foot to the other to alleviate bladder discomfort. We at PASB are not prepared to take this lying down. Unless, of course, we’ve had one over the eight and have collapsed in a pool of sick in the station toilets”

TFL said last night: “If escalator-users think this is bad, wait until we make wheelchair users go up and down using the silver, metal bit in the middle.”

Danny SoZ, 19.

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1 Comment

Filed under Humor, Humour, London

One response to “London Tube Escalator Directive Unfair to Drunks Says Pressure Group

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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