BAT CAN & ROB TIN: THE DYNAMIC BUT INEFFECTUAL, CRIME FIGHTING TINS OF BEANS

baked beans

Bat Can’s Crime Journal: 6 November 2015

It was 2.30am in Patel’s Kosher Patisserie in Shoreditch, East London, and myself and my youthful ward: Rob Tin, were on the top shelf, overlooking the till, when we heard the unmistakable sound of breaking glass.

As we watched from the shadows, three masked figures came into view and began filling their rucksacks with bars of chocolate and packets of crisps.

We knew instantly that it was time to ditch our mild-mannered alter-egos and spring into action as the crime-busting duo: Bat Can and Rob Tin.

Unfortunately, the fact that we’re tins of beans made it impossible to move and we had to watch helplessly as the lawless fiends made off with their booty.

NEXT WEEK: We are completely powerless to stop an armed gang from stealing 12 sacks of curry powder from Sandeep’s Asian Convenience Store in Bromley-By-Bow

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PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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