ELTON JOHN HINTS AT MAKING SMALL DONATION TO NON-GAYS

non gay

Pop legend and champion of gay rights, Sir Elton John, has announced that at some vague, unspecified time in the future, he may extend his largesse towards heterosexual people in the form of a donation to help the homeless, or people similarly disadvantaged, without first checking on their sexuality.

John, 98, who announced yesterday he is to give £10 million to a lesbian, gay, and transgender group, told a press conference: “Although it’s not usually my custom to offer assistance to non-gay or lesbian people, my accountant has informed me that I need to donate a portion of my disposable income to charity for tax purposes. I have therefore decided that after the gay community have been given the lion’s share, I may apportion the remainder to a few straights. Hopefully, one or two underprivileged closet homosexuals or lesbians will benefit too”

Mr John then left the press conference to fly to Moscow, where he hopes to persuade Russian president, Vladimir Putin, not to bomb any gay night spots in Syria.

Danny Soz aged 19 and definitely not gay

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Satire

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s