Hundreds of excited comic book enthusiasts flocked to the sleepy backwater of Dorking in Surrey yesterday when it was announced that a gents outfitters, specialising in clothing for the clinically obese, was to be opened by Marvel Comic anti hero, The Incredible Hulk.
The proprietor of the store, “Broad In The Beam,” Mr Ronald Keithley, 59, spoke to local reporters shortly before the arrival of the popular rampaging brute and said.
“This is an absolutely tremendous coup for the business and a real fillip for our little town. I can’t believe The Hulk agreed to come at such short notice to be honest because I know for a fact he had a pretty hectic time of it last week when he spent over 2 hours locked in a grim life or death struggle battling The Submariner 5000 leagues beneath The Atlantic Ocean. Not only that, but he then spent the entire weekend being strafed and bombed by a squadron of F16 fighter jets in the Arizona Desert, so it’s a wonderful gesture on his part and we can’t thank the big fella enough.”
It’s believed that the monosyllabic, green behemoth was swayed into coming when he learned of the new expanding latex trouser range which the shop are hoping to launch in the spring – presumably so that he’ll be able to invest in a pair himself to save having to continuously fork out for new ones after waking up in an alleyway with ripped clothing as Dr Bruce Banner – his alter-ego, following a furious battle against The X-Men and/or any number of other comic book heroes with a point to prove.
After cutting the tape and signing autographs for clamouring fans, a BBC man asked the brooding, green monolith how he was enjoying his stay in the UK. This appeared to wrong-foot the towering brute and he snatched a Sky News helicopter from the sky and hurled it to the ground bellowing “Him hurt Hulk!” before bounding back to America in a series of mighty leaps, using United States Navy battleships in The Atlantic as springboards.
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