1 – War And Peace by Leo Tolstoy.
“Blimey that Napoleon’s a bit of a mouthy bleeder Ivan. I see trouble ahead my son”
BOOM!.. BOOM!… BLAM!… BOOM!… KAPOOOW!… GNNNNNNNN!
“Christ, thank Gawd that’s over Katerina. Peace at last sweedart!… Gissa kiss Treacle”
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2 – Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
“It’s a little geezer Mr Bumble. The muvver died in childbirth the poor little mare”
“Bow to the board you little toerag!”
“You gotta pick a pocket or two Oliver my dear”
“I’m your long lost grandad. Here’s a load of lovely lolly squire. Now come and live wiv me in my big old drum in London”
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3 – Moby Dick by Herman Melville
“I’m gonna nail that big fat white bleeder if it’s the last fing I do, so ‘elp me!”
AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WOT A BLEEDIN’ SICKENER!… glub glub glub…UNH!
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4 – Crime And Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
“Blimey I’m skint again. I think I’ll go and turn over that curmudgeonly old money lender woman and her half-daft daughter. I just ‘ope I don’t murder ’em by accident like”
“Bollocks!”
“I love yer princess, and I’ll marry yer as soon as I get aaht of the shovel and pick. Know wot I mean darlin’?”
************************************
5 – Pride And Prejudice by Jane Austen
“I ‘ate that Mr Darcy big time. ‘e’s such a flash monkey, with his big old gaff in the country and his diabolical, condescending attitude”
SPLASH!… *swim, swim, puff, pant, wheeze*
“Oh I dunno though. ‘e’s not as bad as I thought to be fair. ‘op on Mr D!
The End innit
The League of Mental Men! 
You could have saved me a lot of time in college.
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Especially on Moby Dick eh Marissa? Have you read that at all? I grew a full-length beard just getting through the preface! 😀
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You should have seen my leg hair.
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These are all great. I especially like the second half of Moby Dick. I wish the original novel had been this short.
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Especially those chapters about the anatomical make-up of the sperm whale eh my friend? I’ll let you into a little secret…I kinda skipped those 😀
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I don’t blame you. We had to read it when I was a student. To be honest I didn’t really care who won. I just wanted either Ahab or his stupid white whale dead as quickly as possible.
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Haha I was pretty much of the same opinion as I ploughed through it Bun. Also, it was the only movie that ever made me want to kick Gregory Peck’s ass 🙂
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Not his finest moment!
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Great game for Christmas Day… x
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I must confess, I prefer drinking heavily until my family becomes almost bearable, but I take your point Shehanne 😀
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