Civil engineers in Italy have announced plans to stabilise the precarious state of The Leaning Tower Of Pisa by using the massive face of British pop icon Olly Murs as a secondary foundation.
The plan is to excavate deep under the existing foundations and then slide Murs’s huge face into position using hydraulic rams positioned behind his feet while he lays down .
A spokesman for Pisa City Council said:
“First of all we plan to burrow under The Leaning Tower Of Pisa using a giant boring machine – like the one that used to come out of Thunderbird 2. We will then gradually ease Olly Murs’s gigantic face into position before pouring lots of concrete in afterwards. Hopefully this will stabilise The Leaning Tower Of Pisa and stop people from worrying, especially the people that live close to it.”
Murs’s mother, Diane, 109, said last night:
. “It’s absolutely fabulous news that Olly’s bloody great dial is going to be used in a project as exciting and worthwhile as stabilising The Leaning Tower Of Pisa. His father and I are absolutely thrilled”
The project is believed to be costing several million pounds and will be the most innovative and daring feat of engineering since a highway from Florida USA to Alaska was constructed on the gigantic, botoxed forehead of Simon Cowell