Vision fading? Struggling to watch TV, read a newspaper, fly an airplane, and all the other everyday tasks that we all take for granted? Then this ingenious little device is for you!
The SoZ Satire Mint Sight-O-Mate could mean that you never have to walk into a lamp post again. Each beautifully crafted device is lovingly machine made by Syrian orphans and comes complete with our fantastic no quibble guarantee. If you quibble we guarantee to send somebody round to your house to give you a kicking.
So don’t delay, order yours today, and we guarantee that you’ll receive your Sight-O-Mate at some vague, unspecified time in the future in all probability. Send cash money or a bankers draft for the sum of £29,987.45 to:
The Blind Beggar (saloon bar)
“My eyesight was atrocious, but now, thanks to the Sight-O-Mate, I watched a woman getting undressed in Rio De Janeiro last night. Thanks SoZ Satire Mint!”. – Jose Da Silva. Rio De Janeiro.
“I was as blind as a bat, but since the Sight-O-Mate came into my life, I’ve been able to see every spot on my wife’s arse. I’m ordering another ten!” – The Archbishop of Canterbury.
The SoZ Satire Mint is a member of The East London Gang Warfare League.