A youthful editor and totally ripped skit writer pictured in training for The London Drinkathon last night
Fabricated and read in a posh BBC accent by Gary “Our Man in the Basement” Hoadley
Edited and copied and pasted with bits of curry sauce on by Clivey “He’s just a kid!” Dee, 19.
Earlier today, Mr Albert Cress, from Bethnal Green, in East London, was found dazed and confused wandering around Roman Road Market. Paramedics were called and quickly established that Mr Cress had spent the entire day sunbathing in Weaver Fields, a popular place for vegans and people with no homes to go to.
Paramedic, Virginia Ham OBE, said;
“Mr Cress was in an awful state, he was wilted, very brown and looked terribly limp and dried up”.
It later transpired that Mr Cress had applied salad cream instead of sun cream before going out to the park.
Speaking outside Shoreditch police station where Mr Cress was being beaten mercilessly in the cells, local beat bobby, Officer WPC Collation, advised;
” Evenin’ all! When you is sunbaving, an you uses der salard cream, first you ‘as to make sure, yur feet, are in wartar. Evenin’ all!”
Disclaimer: No gay people were married during the writing or editing of this skit…or if they were, they didn’t tell us about it, the sneaky buggers.