Comrades: An Everyday Story Of Revolutionary Folk

comrades 5

Greetings from Petrograd comrades

Tremendous news fellow revolutionaries!  Heroic Comrade Wife has won a limited edition ‘Leon Trotsky Commemorative Bath-Plug’ for her winning entry in the district poetry competition with her piece entitled: “Death to the decadent Western oppressors and a curse on their imperialist Ford Mondeos”. And when we can afford a chain for the plug, it’ll mean that she won’t smell of piss anymore.

As a result, we took the much admired municipal tram into town to celebrate with a slap-up meal at fast-food turnip restaurant #37. Unfortunately the place is full of foreigners, everyone working on the serving counter seemed to be a bloody Armenian and hardly any of them are able to speak Russian. Instead of getting a ‘Big Joe Happy Turnip Burger’ we ended up with a ‘Fillet-O’-Sprout’. And it’s no good having a go at them as they just look at you blankly and say “You want a potato with that?”

I mean the fuckers are everywhere, not content with taking all the jobs at the sewage works, their women are undercutting our own heroic prostitutes!  They go straight to the top of the housing list, and only have to spend ten years living in a hole in the ground before they get allocated a family sized cardboard box. Still at least they’re not as bad as the Mongolians. I mean for fuck sake, you only have to stop at a working traffic light, and within 2 seconds some slanty-eyed bastard is trying to rub your donkey down with a dead mole on a stick.

I think it’s only District Commissioner, Nigeski Farrangski, who is listening to the proletariat. “Close the borders and send ’em back” he says. “Let’s get back to the days when you knew exactly which year it would be when you received a replacement light bulb”. A truly great man, and I for one, wholeheartedly welcome a return to blatant xenophobia and the repressive dictatorship when our own race reigned supreme.

FROM BETWEEN THE MUSCULAR THIGHS OF OUR HEROIC WOMEN SPRINGS FORTH A NEW GENERATION OF BRAVE LEADERS!

Heroically written by Gary Moorski “Churchmouse”

Decadently edited by Cliveski Dee, 19.

Filthy capitalist graphic by District Reactionary Hyena #37, The Artful Dodgerski

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6 Comments

Filed under The League Of Mental Men

6 responses to “Comrades: An Everyday Story Of Revolutionary Folk

  1. “Let’s get back to the days when you knew exactly which year it would be when you received a replacement light bulb” did it for me – made me laugh out loud it did. Good stuff.

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  2. Daleen

    This certainly underwrites the Undying Kingdom of Imperialistic Pricks’ manifesto, doesn’t it? No good to thin the supreme blood between brothers and cousins with a fresh supply of foreigners! Just look what that did to civilization and development as we know it… It is always better to be the forceful invader than to be subtly invaded. Well said!

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    • Thank you very much Darleen. I’ve no idea what you’re talking about having spent most of my life toiling in a uranium mine for the good of our glorious motherland and being whipped with a piece of rusty barbed wire on the two occasions that I listened to the filthy imperialist BBC world service but I’m sure that you understand much better than I.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Daleen

        Having lived in a once-British colony that refuses to let go of certain colonial practices (especially those involving buildings with big clocks on them and steeples and such, and the worshiping of foreign, colonial gods) all my life, I know absolutely nothing except what my friend (who lives in Newcastle on Tyne and who tutors me in the English language) tells me. So it could be that I am being misinformed on both counts

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PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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