Today’s Weather For Facebookers

weatherman

“There’s an area of heavy irony moving in from East London babes. Wuff oo! XOXOXOXOXO”

There will be widespread LOLs across the entire region this morning followed by intermittent ((((((HUGS))))) and a few scattered cat pictures.

In the afternoon. a deep depression will settle over most parts with a number of boxes containing plagiarised words of wisdom and earnest political dogma, these may bring occasional blurred pictures of hideous looking offspring, becoming widespread in some areas.

Towards evening, there could be varying amounts of private messages, some of which could be quite heavy, with prolonged attachments containing small amounts of male genitalia, bringing long spells of dryness in the female gusset region. Testosterone levels will be particularly low in this area.

Overnight, there will be periods of light to heavy vomiting with occasional bursts of incontinence, as an area of lager, combined with fizzy white wine, settles over the entire region. These could be interspersed with the odd outbreak of cyber bullying, coupled with intermittent, laughable threats of violence from blokes with biceps like squashed Jaffa Cakes. These may be accompanied by occasional bursts of light female crying in low IQ areas.

Tomorrow will see another deep depression moving into the region with occasional bed sheet changing which in turn will give way to some thundery outbreaks and high winds in the south, resulting in brief periods of furtive underwear hiding.

The outlook for the week ahead is for more of the same but with occasional bursts of yawn-inducing birthday messages combined with the odd crass spelling error and attention-seeking suicide threat.

And now here’s the outlook for the week ahead in WordPress:

It’s a particularly gloomy picture here, with widespread sycophantic fawning and with a number of disingenuous “likes” and “follows” moving in for the afternoon. These will be accompanied by a  deep area of low intelligence and zero shame. Right from the word go there will be long outbreaks of truly appalling copy and absolutely risible poetry, bringing heavy gales of laughter, coupled with sporadic periods of wry amusement and light chuckling, particularly in the London area.

Clivey

The London Area

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4 Comments

Filed under Satire

4 responses to “Today’s Weather For Facebookers

  1. Definitely the greatest piece I have ever read. Satirical genius! I laughed until my bollocks burst. A tour de force of unsurpassed quality! If I hadn’t written it myself I would suck gently on your cock for hours on end on the strength of this one. A bit special was this! xxxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. A satirical masterpiece indeed, Mr Soz. You seem to have the ‘sucking up’ in hand so I’ll simply join you in the chorus….. ‘A bit special was this!’

    Like

  3. Cut above this one. Have a bar on your MBE mate.

    Like

  4. Pingback: The Mad Hatter Award For Honesty | My Grandfather was an Undertaker

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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