Letters To LOMM

Jo Stalin

These letters were discovered in Gary Hoadley’s basement by one of his kidnap victims and smuggled out by his brute-like servant, Gerald Chambers, 137, while Hoadley was having tea with his dark-skinned advisor, or witchdoctor, in the upstairs billiard room.

Dear League Of Mental Men

I went to the theatre the other night to see; “Calamity Jane”. What a load of old
rubbish that turned out to be! First of all, the guns were not real…or the blood!
Then, to top it all, there was a woman dressed as a bloke, the dirty, depraved, bastard.
Apparently, this Calamity Jane was a real person. Well I’ve never heard of her so how can this be true? In my opinion, it’s yet another homosexual play that’s slipped past the censors.

Your Faithfully

Bob Racist

The Mumbles

Penge

*******************************

Dear League Of Mental Men

I opened my front door this morning to find the entire street had disappeared. My Albert said it could be woodworm, but I think it’s all these foreign types stealing our houses and taking them back to their foreign lands.

Mrs Morpeth, from number 7, had her garden shed disappear. It turned up 4 months later in Nigeria being used as a supermarket. Thank God she had one of those radar things put on it or her Sid would not have been able to mow the grass. They will steal anything these days won’t they?

Yours Sincerely

Eileen Hate-Filled-Bigot

The Cliff top

Dover

Kent

Lovingly written by Gary Hoadley

Savagely edited by Clivey Dee,19.

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PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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