Satirical Magazine Enlist Help From ‘Anti-Terrorist’ Office Cat

cat with hat

Soz Satire’s anti-terror cat pictured being spruced up last night prior to tackling potential armed fundamentalists

Following the murderous, terrorist outrage in Paris two days ago, the controversial and largely ignored, satirical magazine, Soz Satire, have announced that they have now employed the services of a highly trained and deeply committed office cat, in a bid to deter potential terrorist threats from radicalised groups, hellbent on seeking revenge on the publication who are notorious for their fearless lack of humour, their appalling syntax and spelling and their laughable monthly readership stats.

Speaking to reporters through the letterbox at the magazine’s offices in Whitechap*l in Ea*t Lond*n, managing editor, Clivey Dee, 16, said: “There’s no way we’re going to be cowed or intimidated by this murderous assault on our satirical brothers in Paris, so we’ve enlisted the help of a special, anti-terrorism cat that Inchcock bought for £6.50 off EBay last night. Rest assured that if any armed fanatics try to break into these offices and start killing the lads at their desks, this cat is trained to throw itself in front of the bullets, tackle the intruders and lock them in the stationary cupboard until the cops arrive. The bloke who sold Inchy the cat told us this and we believe him”

If you’d like to check up on the lads and to see if the deployment of the cat in question has done the trick, why not visit:

Disclaimer: The old office cat, Mr Bubbles, has definitely not been cooked and eaten by Mike Steeden who wanted to practice his survivalist skills. That would be right out that would.



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