LOMM Writers Jump Ship To Join Satirical Mag

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An out-of-date cover of Soz Satire pictured smirking last night

 

In a move that will send seismic shockwaves through the blogging world, it is being reported that the entire team of contributors to the popular, humour-based blog, The League Of Mentalmen, have quit to join the successful satirical magazine, Soz Satire, because they “like the music on the stories” and because “it’s got much funnier jokes in it”

LOMM editor-in-chief, Clivey Dee, 12, told reporters “I knew something wasn’t quite right on Monday morning when Inchy hadn’t submitted his customary 27 pieces for editing. Gaz didn’t make a post at all on Tuesday, which I dismissed at the time as a result of him being in jail again, but the real clincher was when Mike completely blew me out on Wednesday and posted a 10,000 plus word poem in his own blog instead. It even had a nude woman in the pic at the top! Thank God Lenny didn’t let me down on Thursday is all I can say. At least there’s one loyal friend I can count on”

Dee then held up a letter he’d received that morning from his former friends and read it aloud:

“Dear Bastard

We’ve quit LOMM to join Soz Satire mag because we like the music on all the stories and the brilliant front covers by The Artful Dodger. The jokes are much funnier too, and in any case no fucker ever reads the copy in WordPress, they just go down their ‘readers’ liking and commenting on shit without having the faintest idea what the content is. We wish you every success for the future you deluded twat.

PS. Lenny’s quit too. He posted that Kimmy skit by mistake when he was drunk and off his swede on crystal meth. So blow your lousy  blog out of your goddamn ass sucker!

Love

The Lads”

To see where the disloyal turncoats have gone, and to marvel at The Artful Dodger’s brilliant front page graphic while tapping your feet to a medley of catchy tunes, why not visit:

http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire

PARENTAL ADVICE: This mag may contain traces of wry humour and underhand digs at the ‘WordPress Family’

 

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14 Comments

Filed under Satire

14 responses to “LOMM Writers Jump Ship To Join Satirical Mag

  1. alienorajt

    ‘Off his swede’ – love it! And, surprisingly, given what a depraved mind I’ve got, I’d never heard it before. Always good to see a ‘deluded twat’ before eight in the morning too – restores my faith in plain, ‘a spade’s a fucking gardening implement, innit?’ style of speaking! Wry humour and underhand digs are absolutely de rigueur in my book – and should be adopted by all right-thinking writers as a means of sorting out the believable and genuine from the bollocks and genitals!
    A splendid Solstice, not to mention Saturnalia, to you all!
    May the Lord of Misrule do just that – and the Feast of Fools show up the true folly amidst the humorous capering!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I have an empty void on the left side of my Cortex, would that qualify me to join your illustrious team of Cuckoo’s who left the nest…?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. garyhoadley

    That will teach you to lean on my Irene’s wing mirror on a Sunday morning.
    I feel sorry for Dodger, how he manages to produce those world class smudges sitting under an old yellow light bulb I will never know.
    And in future, when you burgle my drum, can you leave the toilet seat darn.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. *Runs down list of followed accounts and likes them all without reading any*

    Satirical Magazine you say? (got that from the title). You should post a link to that mag, I’d love to pretend I’ve read that too! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Everyone writing bits for the new Soz site is a twit. A weak, spineless twit for abandoning God, WordPress, and the Roman Empire. May they reek of sewer water for all eternity. When attractive women see them, may the women run in terror from what they’ve just gazed upon. Lastly, may they require ongoing dental work until their farts smell of elderberries. The Bastards. The whole lot of ’em. Bastards!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE and commented:
    I can’t understand why this chap keeps denigrating WordPress week in week out. I mean to say, it’s great and we’re all just one, great big, happy, romping, liking and commenting family fer chrissakes! What a complete fucking fucker he must be not to be able to see this! 😦

    Like

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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