If Russell Crowe ever sings in a North Korean movie I will have him shot. I just saw ‘Les Misérables’. Jesus Fucking Christ, that guy is the worst singer ever! Why doesn’t Barack do anything about that?
I was glad when Russell Crowe’s character finally jumped off a bridge and died.
I did like the story. It’s about a man who steals a loaf of bread and then goes to jail for a long time. For a moment I was afraid those things might happen in North Korea, but then one of my advisors told me there isn’t any bread to steal.
“Ah, so the problem solves itself then,” I said and my advisor agreed.
I think I am kinda like Jean Valjean, the guy who stole that bread. Like Jean Valjean I am awesome and very strong and everybody loves me. I help everybody out. But I also have an enemy, Barack, who is like Javert: he keeps bitching on me the entire time but he never catches me because I am awesome and smarter.
I also stole a loaf of bread once. I was still a little boy and my dead dad was having a dinner party. I sneaked in and grabbed all the food I could see, including a loaf of bread. But then my dad said it was okay. That happens to Jean Valjean too early in the movie, only then he’s given silver.
I don’t think I would ever steal something I can’t eat.
Jean Valjean raised the child of a prostitute. I am also raising the child of a woman who happens to be my wife.
Jean Valjean was a hero of the revolution. I am the Supreme Hero of the revolution that happened in North Korea before I was born.
I thought about showing ‘Les Misérables’ to all the people in North Korea so they could learn from it, but I didn’t do it. I’m not gonna make my people listen to Russell Crowe singing. That would just be cruel.
Maybe I can order the production of a North Korean remake of ‘Les Misérables’. I can already hear to people sing about how awesome I am.
Your one and unly,
I guess Sarah Palin is kinda like Fantine: she is beautiful and will do just about anything for money.
This poorly executed attempt at mocking the world’s greatest Supreme Leader comes courtesy of Lennard van Ree of Satire Nation.