Cake

 Another diary entry by Kim Jong Un, Supreme Leader of North Korea.

Dear diary,

Today one of my advisors taught me something about North Korea: people are starving.

I was very sad, cause I don’t like it when people are hungry. Whenever I am hungry I eat, so I asked my advisor why North Koreans don’t.
“They have nothing to eat,” my advisor said.
“Give everyone a loaf of bread,” I said.
My advisor told me there isn’t enough bread.
“Then let them eat cake,” I said.
My advisor said it was the cleverest thing someone had ever told him. I asked him if he thinks I’m smarter than my dead dad. He said he was convinced the universe will never ever produce a human being as smart as me. I guess it makes sense. Everywhere I go people keep telling me how smart I am.

After my advisor left, I called Dennis Rodman. I told him what had happened and that I said people should eat cake. Dennis Rodman laughed. He said it was a clever joke too, although I’m not sure why he thinks it’s a joke.

I think I will sleep well tonight. I gave all of North Korea a cake today. I am a good person.

Your one and unly,

Kimmy

P.S.
I want to buy a guitar and play like Carlos Santana. I’ll have someone arrange that for me tomorrow.

 

This pitiful character assassination comes courtesy of Lennard van Ree of Satire Nation.