Today one of my advisors taught me something about North Korea: people are starving.
I was very sad, cause I don’t like it when people are hungry. Whenever I am hungry I eat, so I asked my advisor why North Koreans don’t.
“They have nothing to eat,” my advisor said.
“Give everyone a loaf of bread,” I said.
My advisor told me there isn’t enough bread.
“Then let them eat cake,” I said.
My advisor said it was the cleverest thing someone had ever told him. I asked him if he thinks I’m smarter than my dead dad. He said he was convinced the universe will never ever produce a human being as smart as me. I guess it makes sense. Everywhere I go people keep telling me how smart I am.
After my advisor left, I called Dennis Rodman. I told him what had happened and that I said people should eat cake. Dennis Rodman laughed. He said it was a clever joke too, although I’m not sure why he thinks it’s a joke.
I think I will sleep well tonight. I gave all of North Korea a cake today. I am a good person.
Your one and unly,
I want to buy a guitar and play like Carlos Santana. I’ll have someone arrange that for me tomorrow.
This pitiful character assassination comes courtesy of Lennard van Ree of Satire Nation.