Cake

kim.jong.un_portrait - Copy Another diary entry by Kim Jong Un, Supreme Leader of North Korea.

Dear diary,

Today one of my advisors taught me something about North Korea: people are starving.

I was very sad, cause I don’t like it when people are hungry. Whenever I am hungry I eat, so I asked my advisor why North Koreans don’t.
“They have nothing to eat,” my advisor said.
“Give everyone a loaf of bread,” I said.
My advisor told me there isn’t enough bread.
“Then let them eat cake,” I said.
My advisor said it was the cleverest thing someone had ever told him. I asked him if he thinks I’m smarter than my dead dad. He said he was convinced the universe will never ever produce a human being as smart as me. I guess it makes sense. Everywhere I go people keep telling me how smart I am.

After my advisor left, I called Dennis Rodman. I told him what had happened and that I said people should eat cake. Dennis Rodman laughed. He said it was a clever joke too, although I’m not sure why he thinks it’s a joke.

I think I will sleep well tonight. I gave all of North Korea a cake today. I am a good person.

Your one and unly,

Kimmy

P.S.
I want to buy a guitar and play like Carlos Santana. I’ll have someone arrange that for me tomorrow.

 

This pitiful character assassination comes courtesy of Lennard van Ree of Satire Nation.

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7 Comments

Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire

7 responses to “Cake

  1. aaaa, the great Kim again, or as I call him in person Kimy boy. He´s a bit chubby, he did tell me thought that´s because he stole some of the food from the people he so much love. And he does feel guilty, but seems he made it up with the cake.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Blinding good stuff on the subject of Fat Boy Twat!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Mike…hope all is well with you! Been meaning to catch up to your reading for a while now, I trust you’re still going at it as ever?

      Liked by 1 person

      • How very odd – I was saying to Shirley over coffee just yesterday that I must email you to see how you’re getting along! Shouldn’t worry about reading a host of old posts when I imagine you must be as busy as I don’t know what! By the way may I ask what the business venture is? Regardless, trust the world is being kind. We are a tad stressed as we are seemingly thwarted in our attempts to move house presently and young George despite getting his first class degree finds that it counts against him when seeking employment. Whatever, we’ll get there eventually. Anyhow, great to hear from you. Stay in touch.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hey Mike,
        I’m sorry for being so off the radar. The thing is I recently moved to another place and we don’t have internet there, so I can only get online at work, which (of course you may ask) is a self established foundation that offers programs to people aimed at achieving their life goals. We do this by combining psychology with spirituality (that last part may sound a bit odd coming from me, as my blog is fairly atheist, but rest assured, we don’t do any religious stuff, but we do believe in using one’s spirituality to bring out someone’s strength…it’s going pretty well, stressful as it is though)
        All the best of luck to you! I hope George manages to find something suitable to his talents and digestive needs (iow: a job he loves that feeds his tummy;))
        Enjoy the cozy cold that’s no doubt being cast over England this time of year. I hear Mary Berry has some nice recipes to keep the entire family warm;)

        Liked by 1 person

      • Good to hear from you – sounds good does the business. I know the early days are the most stressful and well remember the first few months after we set up our PI business…just staring at the phone and keeping a look out for post that never came! Still once on a roll it becomes an exciting time so all the best with that. Sounds a good niche market you’ve got there. It is bloody cold in the UK today what with the wind from Mother Russia in cruel mood. Young George is doing a bit of voluntary worker teaching senile and sometimes smelly folk how to use a PC yet does have a meeting with a bloke tomorrow who is just starting up a new business that is based around all the stuff George studied so one lives in hope. I’m still blogging away although the interest is fading a little – still it’s a worthwhile hobby for an old fool. We’ve been trying to move house this year – didn’t even book a holiday because we thought we’d be moving in the summer. Whilst we have found the house we want the old lady who owns the house the people we are buying from want she will not move until she finds a place her fucking cat indicates (how does a cat indicate?) he likes it. 7 months on still getting nowhere! Whatever, keep the faith with the business and make yourself a shedload of money. Yours, Mike & Shirley

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  3. The old clincher for me was: “Everywhere I go people keep telling me how smart I am”

    Like

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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