“Incensed” The Capo Di Tutti Capi of the nurse’s union pictured last night at an unlicensed boxing function in East London
Britain’s leading nurse’s union, UNISON, have reacted furiously to a skit published yesterday in the satirical magazine, Soz Satire, which labelled their members “hoodlums and murderers” The article also claimed that 95% of the so-called “caring profession” working at the world renowned, children’s hospital, Great Ormond Street Hospital For Sick Children in London, are active members of the Sicilian, organised crime outfit, the Cosa Nostra, or Mafia. who routinely torture the sick youngsters in their care and who maim or execute their parents if they complain to hospital bosses.
The magazine’s editor-in-chief, Clive Danton, 21, spoke to us at his office above The Boleyn Arms public house in West Ham, East London, where he strongly refuted the allegations.
“I was just using satirical license” he said “I’ve got nothing but respect and admiration for the nursing profession and for the wonderful, caring service they provide for the public. Having said that, I did have a bit of a run-in with an Irish trainee nurse last year, who was a bit rough when she rolled my pyjama sleeve up before an injection while I was in to have my gall bladder drained”
The Royal College of Nursing issued a statement last night, condemning the article.
“It’s bad enough when our hard working members are portrayed as saucy, sex objects in Carry On films without having this scurrilous nonsense bandied about. I’ve instructed our members to lobby the magazine and to write to the editorial desk to complain. I’ve also advised them to find the whereabouts of Mr Danton’s barber shop and to garrote him with piano wire while his face is covered with a hot towel”
To see the offending article and to judge for yourself visit:
Stabproof vests and tommy guns are available on request.
PS. For those of you who may think you’ve seen this bare-faced publicity stunt on my “Soz Satire” blog (Recently voted “Literary Irritant Of This Or Any Other Year” by Popular Comment Addict magazine) just pretend that you’re mistaken, and put it down to heavy drinking, dementia, a brain tumour or similar ok?