SITUATIONS VACANT: Cartoonist Wanted


An out-of-date issue of a satirical magazine pictured being largely ignored last night


A well-appointed, London-based, satirical magazine is actively seeking somebody who’s quite good at drawing to illustrate a cartoon strip I’ve conceived, which features an alcoholic superhero as its main protagonist.

The successful applicant will be given a crippling deadline to produce 5 frames of half-decent cartoonery for absolutely no pecuniary reward whatsoever. However, in an almost unbelievable act of largesse, I’m offering an all- expenses-paid look at a picture I accidentally took of my foot using my phone when I was pissed last Friday night.

Bone-idle art students with fuck all to do all day other than to watch The Jeremy Kyle show and/or to masturbate periodically into a sock, will be fast-tracked to the top of the shortlist.

So if you know one end of a crayon from the other, are soundish in wind and limb, and have no convictions for gross indecency in the last 25 years (yes I know I’m excluding a huge percentage of you with this proviso) either fill in the box below with an irritating, time-consuming comment, in time-honoured fashion, or drop me an email, with an example of your crude daubings to:

If we can get this squared away in the next few weeks I can guarantee that your work will be showcased in the November issue of the mag; where it will be laughed and pointed at by millions in pretty much the same way as the rest of the content.

All the best and I look forward to hearing from you soon…probably.

Clivey Dee. Managing Editor and all round demanding fuck.

PS. Apologies to Lenny for encroaching on “his day” to post on this blog, but I’m desperate and you’re probably too bladdered on cheap Curucaoan shoe-reconditioner to notice anyway. Love you mate!




Filed under Humor, Humour

19 responses to “SITUATIONS VACANT: Cartoonist Wanted

  1. Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE and commented:
    This is a genuine request and I’ll be pathetically grateful to anyone who can help us out with this one.


  2. The above is a genuine request by the way and we’d be really grateful and delighted to hear from you if you can help, or if you know a man who can;


  3. Reblogged this on mikesteeden and commented:
    I can draw seagulls by turning a W upside down if that helps.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Not that it’s in my nature to allocate work for people, or even to drop them in the shite fora bit of a giggle, but,,,,,

    ratty is a felt-tip fairy graphic designer.

    i just thought I’d mention it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. alienorajt

    I can’t draw – though would help if I could – but I CAN share and reblog, and will do so right now. Good luck, chaps! Ali

    Liked by 1 person

  6. alienorajt

    Reblogged this on ALIEN AURA'S BLOG: IT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND! and commented:
    Come on all you artists out there! These guys are great fun to read – some of the funniest blog posts I have ever read! Get in touch if you have an artistic bone in your body…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. In my younger days I knew tons of people that would have fit the bill. Now they are all in jail or the looney bin.


  8. when deep in my cups, I can manage to draw a passable stick figure



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