An Appeal On Behalf Of The Gary Hoadley Caribbean Food Trust

Gaz the rasta

Rankin’ Papa Gee ‘im say: “Lawd Jesus me yoot! Send dat Clivey Bwoy all your bloodclaaat money and ting so dat me yardie bredrin nah mash up me pussyclaaat wid da machetes. Blessed love! 


Mr Gary Hoadley is unable to fulfil his obligation to submit copy to this blog today, despite Tuesday being “his day” to do so.

This is due to the fact that he’s being held prisoner in a West Indian cafe close to his Fulham home by a number of murderous Jamaican yardie cut-throats who are threatening to “mash ‘im up to raass” unless he pays his bill.

To help him to achieve this, and to avoid him being butchered and thrown in the curry goat, dutch pot, please send every penny you have to the address below:

The Gary Hoadley Caribbean Food Trust

C/O Clivey Dee

The Boyleyn Arms

Green Street

East London.

In the meantime, while you’re waiting for your house to be sold, why not visit this magazine to see what “Rankin’ Papa Gee” and others of a similar vile ilk, have been writing about recently. A blockbusting new issue will be published this Friday by all accounts. A geezer down the pub told me that. Easy now me bredrin. Roots!…etc.

Blessed love me yoot


soz inciting riots




Filed under Humor, Humour

6 responses to “An Appeal On Behalf Of The Gary Hoadley Caribbean Food Trust

  1. alienorajt

    Dear Cynthia –
    Oi’m after crocheting one o’ they berets and ponchos like what you shown in yond picture, but moi goat’s gone bald after that business with the number 15 bus and they weird knickers.
    What soize kntting needles do Oi need, and does mustard clash summat ‘orrible with dung and mouve/mowve/mo-v/purple?
    Thought Oi moight troiy a lavvy seat cover an’ all.
    Aspidistral Dando
    St Pauls

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I say! How frightfully un-British. What is all this damned Johnny Foreigner lingo? ‘An ting?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Gary must be rescued, before he become rasta-ised and goes off to smoke weed in Syria.

    Do we know the identity of these yardies? Is it the notorious Scotland Yardie gang, as led by Wee Rankin Hamish McScrote, aided and abetted by Dougie ‘Dread’ Donaldson, and DCI Alex Salmond?

    Liked by 2 people

    • garyhoadley

      I say cheps, these Yardie fellows have gawn an given me a posh accent, to blouse an skirt…They insist I an I stir the pot till it nine day old!
      Where’s the fairness in that then…The ras clat bomba’s!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Maaan, it’s a disgrace, ya knaw. Next ting ya’ll be claimin ta ave no style an be strickly roots. Or ever worse, ya knaw, ya’ll be passin de duchy on de left and side!



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