SPY GAMES!

Another diary entry by Kim Jong Un, Supreme Leader of North Korea.

 

Dear Diary,

I was checking my mail online when I saw this:

I’m glad North Koreans don’t have internet. They would be so offended if they saw it. It’s not like North Koreans don’t have a sense of humor. They have a great sense of humor!

I for one am quite the comedian. That’s what I’m known for in North Korea. I even did stand-up for my wife once and I have never seen her laugh so hard.

My scientists sometimes use internet, but only Wikipedia. I have a general checking that for me. But today I realized nobody is checking this general. And he has internet! So now there is a chance he has seen this:

So tomorrow I’m going to hire a corporal to spy on my other general. A corporal is lower in rank, but that’s why people won’t suspect him spying. Though there may come a day I must find a general to spy on my corporal spying on my general spying on my scientists.

Sometimes it’s complicated to run a country.

Maybe I should also hire someone to spy on me, just to be sure. Or I should hire someone to hire someone else to spy on me, so I don’t know who it is.

Oh wait, I did that once. That’s when every day a traveling sales man showed up at my doorstep. I had him shot on the third day. It was starting to piss me off.

I think I’ll just make funnier internet things instead. That way people won’t look for the old ones anymore. Here’s one I just came up with:

This is good stuff.

Your one and unly,

Kimmy

P.S.
If a diver drowns on the bottom of the ocean and there’s no one around to see it, does he really drown?

 

This vicious attack on Kim Jong Un’s widely lauded integrity comes from Lennard van Ree of Satire Nation.

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6 Comments

Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire

6 responses to “SPY GAMES!

  1. The old clincher for me was “I had him shot on the 3rd day”
    Beautiful shit as ever Lenny.
    PS. What did you think of my editing the title to feature an exclamation mark at the end? Pretty dramatic eh mate? If that doesn’t get the comments flooding in I don’t know what will!!! 😉
    Thanks as ever my friend.

    Like

    • That exclamation mark at the end really gives this diary entry the exclamational vibe it so desperately needed! I can but bow to your supreme wisdom:P
      Also, I’m honored each time you find a clincher in one of my outings. In most cases it’s also the bits I like best myself;)
      Warm greetings from a warm place (it be my heart or the Caribbean, or both)

      Like

      • Great comment! Now while you’re in such excellent high spirits I shall also inform you that I capitalised “diary” at the beginning and put the sub heading in bold text. 🙂

        The old clincher for me was “exclamational vibe” btw.

        Enjoy another day in paradise…you triumphalist swine!!!!! 😀

        Clivey

        Like

  2. The Kimmy diary entries are some of my favorites. Please let him know that if a diver drowns in the ocean and no one sees it, of course he doesn’t really drown. He was eaten by sharks, silly!

    Like

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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