I like Lady GaGa. She’s not as hot as Beyoncé, but her music makes up for that. I wish we had singers like that in North Korea. My wife used to be a singer, but she was not as good as Lady Gaga.
Tonight I will attend the premiere of Supreme Leader, the Musical. It’s about me. It will be in the May Day Stadium.
I will have the best seat, where I can see everything and everybody.
During last year’s premiere of Supreme Leader on Ice I arrived late. The announcer said I was stuck in traffic, but that was stupid so I had him sent to prison: all the cars in Pyongyang were at May Day Stadium, so there was no traffic.
I then had to threaten South Korea so my people would think I was busy working and that made me arrive late. Stupid announcer!
I didn’t arrive late because of traffic last year. I arrived late because of Lady Gaga. I had just gotten her new CD and it was awesome. I was listening to it all day and forgot all about the time. It was such a happy feeling. My dead dad never let me listen to cool music, but my wife does.
‘Porker Face’ is my favorite. I didn’t know what it means, so I called my best friend Dennis Rodman and he explained it to me. It reminds me of my generals. And advisors and scientists and government and people.
I have a porker face too.
Sometimes I act really nice to my people, but then I secretly think they are losers. And then in my head I’m like Can’t read my, Can’t read my, No, he can’t read my…pooorkerface. That makes me laugh inside.
I don’t really feel like going to Supreme Leader, the Musical. But everybody expects me to be there. They all come to see me. I guess it’ll be rude of me not to show up.
I’d rather stay home and finish writing my letter in which I ask the world’s greatest dancer if he will produce next year’s event with me. I think it should be called Michael Flatley’s Supreme Leader.
Your one and unly,
I’m playing Wordfeud on my Iphone with a 36 year old housewife from Bristol. She’s very good. She thinks I’m the mother of one of her kid’s friends. She’s British, so she scores more points than me; labour, harbour, humour, dictatour, vibratour, etc.
This cynical character assassination of a wonderful human being comes courtesy of Lenny Van Ree & Satire Nation.