Samantha Freshly-Pissed’s Highly Inappropriate Vehicle Transmission Clinic And 4 Ale Bar

drunk woman

“It’ll cost you 200 quid’s worth of Jack Daniels just to get me to look under the bonnet guvnor”

 

Dear Samantha

I have a 2002 Honda Accord with a slipping clutch and would like to have a go at replacing the assembly myself.  However I’m a bit nervous about getting the friction and pressure plates correctly aligned without using a special tool. Any help or advice you can give me on this one would be most welcome.

Toby Hampton

Manchester

*********************************************************************

Dear Toby

YER FUCKIN’ BASHTA YERSH! ARE YOU STARIN’ AT MY AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION FLUID TANK? I’LL TEK THE FUCKIN’ LOT OF YERSH! YOU’RE ME BESHT MATE YOU ARE. GISSA FAG? G’WAN GISSA FAG. I LOVE MY FUCKIN’ KIDSH I DO! BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERGH! CHRIST!

PS. Try using an old gearbox input shaft in a place of a clutch alignment tool. You’ll find it’ll do the job just as well. Now then, if I let you have a couple of pints on the house could you give me your honest opinion on the state of my rancid old growler?

All The Very Best

Sam

Clivey

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1 Comment

Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire

One response to “Samantha Freshly-Pissed’s Highly Inappropriate Vehicle Transmission Clinic And 4 Ale Bar

  1. ratty

    I was wondering if Samantha could have a look at my big end.

    I’m not an expert, but I’m pretty much sure that the rod length is about right and I have recently taken the precaution of adjusting my clutch to allow for stroke length.

    Maybe it’s something to do with my timing being a little out as it works fine on idle, but when I up-gear a little and increase the speed, it overheats, dies away and no amount of coaxing or tinkering will get it performing again.

    Could it be that I’m using the wrong lubricant ?

    Like

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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