Letters To LOMM

josef

Dear League Of Mental Men

I should like to add my voice to those of the people expressing shock and disbelief with regard to the recent rumours surrounding Sir Cliff Richard’s penchant for young boys.

I quite simply do not believe them, and indeed, can furnish you with a short anecdote which will add weight to my conviction.

About 30 years ago, as a teenager, I got terribly drunk at a party and stumbled out onto nearby Hampstead Heath. I then collapsed and lost conciousness. Upon waking in the early hours of the morning I found none other than the Peter Pan of Pop himself hastily pulling my trousers up, in an effort no doubt, to preserve my modesty and to prevent me from catching a chill. He then gave me £5.00 and told me the location of the nearest chemist in case I had a sore bottom. Were those the actions of a slavering paedophile?

Thanks Sir Cliff!

Neddy Prolapse

Hampstead Heath

Clivey

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9 Comments

Filed under Satire

9 responses to “Letters To LOMM

  1. Well I fer one can support your views midduck.
    A kind man, of infinite compassion I reckon Sir Cliff is.
    His recordings of Schoolboy Crush 1959, Willie And The Hand Jive, Please don’t tease 1960, Got A Funny Feeling, Bachelor Boy 1962, I Wonder, It’s All In The Game 1963, Just Another Guy, Just A Little Bit Too Late, Wind Me Up (Let Me Go) 1965, Sweet Little Jesus Boy 1967, Don’t Forget To Catch Me 1968, With The Eyes Of A Child 1969, You Never Can Tell 1970, Take Me High 1973, (You Keep Me) Hanging On 1974, Devil Woman, Junior Cowboy 1976, Love And A Helping Hand 1982, She Means Nothing To Me 1983, Slow Rivers (with Elton John) 1986, One Time Lover Man 1987, Misunderstood Man 1995, and Misunderstood Man 1997, all show his nice nature.
    I think…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Neddy Prolapse – great name for one who as suffered more than most.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ellierayne

    n.n love reading this

    Like

  4. Sounds like a lovely young man to me!

    Liked by 1 person

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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