Clivey & Gaz in “Ebola Blues”

clivey & Gaz profile

Infected by Clivey Dee

Spread Like Wildfire by Gary Hoadley

********************************************************************

“Morning Gaz. You alright boy?”

“Nothing that a win on The Lotto wouldn’t cure son. Yourself?”

“Funny you should ask that. I’m none too clever as it happens mate”

“Why what’s up with yers son?”

“I’ve only got that Ebola Virus haven’t I?”

“What that deadly hemmorhagic lurgie that’s sweeping through West Africa killing all the darkies son?”

“Yeah”

“How d’ya know you’ve got that then mate?”

“Well last night I was in the drinker and I had an up and a downer with some geezer at the bar who pushed in. I told him to behave himself and get to the back of the queue when, all of a sudden, he’s smacked me right in the mouth. Well there was claret everywhere son. Pouring from me it was. That’s when I knew I had that Ebola mate”

“Fuck’s sake you poor bastard mate… Is it catching?”

“Not many son! You only have to look at a geezer with Ebola and before you know it you’ve gone down with it yerself”

“Blimey what a sickener! Do you think I might have got it then mate?”

“Bound to have done mate. D’you want me to test yers for it?”

“Yeah”

“Hold still then son while I stab yers a few times with me blade”

“Lovely job Clivey. You’re a good mate and no error”

“No worries son. What are friends for eh ? Now keep still mate”

Clivey produces a commando knife and stabs Gaz repeatedly in the chest and abdomen.

“There you go Gaz old son. You’ve definitely got it mate. Quite a bad case too judging by all the blood. It’s absolutely pissing out of yers.So whaddya think then Gaz? Shall I make an appointment for us down the quacks?…Gaz…GAZ! Blimey he’s only fallen akip. That’s another sure sign apparently. Extreme drowsiness. I’ll give the doc a bell when I’ve had a nice cup of splosh and a gasper. It’s a shame really. Yeah it’s a real shame. Tsk.

Warning: This skit may contain traces of Black Water Fever and Beri Beri.

Clivey

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4 Comments

Filed under Humor, Humour

4 responses to “Clivey & Gaz in “Ebola Blues”

  1. Am I too close already? Did I just catch it, too? AHHHH!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There is only one bloke on this planet, that can make me cry with laughter.
    And I have forgotten his name. On the other hand, this Danton fellow does a good job of making me titter. The rotten, editing swine with huge dew drops.
    A masterpiece of comedy my friends from the best Satirist on the planet.
    Funny, hilarious, are inadequate words. (I hate him…No, I love him…Oh god it’s so…*Sob*)

    Like

    • sozsatire

      Talking of which, you owe me a long un for sorting out the smudge son! The weld’s greatest satirist dont come cheap you know!!!.
      PS. I’ll stick your one in when I get back from having me bumps felt 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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