Menopausal Meg: Hormonal Agony Aunt From Hades

Dear Meg.

I’m a regular contributor to the WordPress blogging site and over the last few months I’ve been extremely gratified by the amount of my followers who have “liked” my work and even been kind enough to make flattering comments with regard to its quality.

Do you think I should consider sending an example or two of my output to a publisher on the strength of all the encouraging feedback I’m getting? I’m not a very confident person you see and would never wish to harbour ideas above my station so to speak.

Your advice and guidance would be most welcome on this one Meg as I’m in a bit of a pickle to be honest with you. Thanks ever so much for listening and I look forward to hearing your thoughts when you have a minute.

Fondly Yours

Roberta Carragher

Florida

****************************************

Dear Roberta

You poor deluded little bitch! Do you honestly believe that just because a few no-nothing, half-assed, wannabe writers on a lame blogging sight have had the misguided, fuckwittery to fawn over your pathetic, literary bilge that you have even a snowball in hell’s chance of becoming a proper writer with a publisher and a book deal? You couldn’t even get your shopping list self-published on Amazon if you offered em a million quid!

Don’t you realise that the only reason these duplicitous, unemployable arseoles are “liking” your old tripe is because: a) They have nothing better to do all day as they can’t get a job or a partner, and, b) Because you’ve been whoring yourself out to them by praising and “liking” their own miserable bilge every five fucking minutes. WordPress is a mutual backslapping society in which people suck gently on each other’s miserable little metaphorical cocks in the pathetic hope that somebody will lie to them about being a half decent writer. I mean let’s be brutally honest here love, if they were any good at all they’d have been in print years ago!

Now clear off and don’t waste my time with any more of your inane wittering, you thick little bitch!

Good luck and all the very best with all your future endeavours my dear.

Ever your friend and confidante

Meg x

Clivey

Is anybody shuffling about awkwardly yet? hehehe

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10 Comments

Filed under Satire, The League Of Mental Men

10 responses to “Menopausal Meg: Hormonal Agony Aunt From Hades

  1. I must say I ‘liked’ this rather great post Meg – do you drink lager?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. alienorajt

    Oh, bloody well said. Better out than in, I say. Meg, you rapacious old boiler, you sound like my sorta gal – and your insightful comments upon the Licensed Brothel – er, Blogging Site – so many of us whore for (some even providing ‘specials’ via the Dungeon Section!) are absolutely bang on the nail.
    Now, let me grab my basque – and, armed with the riding crop of literary endeavour, go and hang around the lampposts of Bloggerland, hoping to snare another curb-crawling fetishist and interest him/her/it in my cheap wares.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Give me a few years and I will BE Menopausal Meg. She is my hero!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. sozsatire

    Menopausal Meg was one of the first grotesques I created for Soz Satire mag and she remains one of my all time faves. There’s no side to Meg, she tells it just like it is and if that makes a few people squirm and become slightly introspective then her job’s a good un. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Followers… | ALIEN AURA'S BLOG: IT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND!

  6. Well, I’ll admit, I’m a little scared to hit the like button now, or comment.

    Like

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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