Letters To LOMM: Double Missive Spectacular!

josef

Dear League Of Mental Men

In order to reduce my car insurance premium, I pretended to be a woman and took out a policy with Drive Like A Girl Ltd. As a prerequisite of getting a cheaper premium I had to have a sensor linked up to my car’s Electronic Control Unit, which would then monitor my driving habits, average speed, gear selection,braking pressures etc.

Imagine my annoyance when I then discovered that I had completely lost the ability to reverse into small parking spaces and that every 28 days I would drive with the window down so that I could make obscene hand gestures and scream hysterical abuse at other road users.

Bob Fuck (Mrs)

Wrexham.

***********************************

Dear League Of Mental Men

Reluctant organ donors

In order to deter unscrupulous medics from harvesting your innards during a post mortem, simply swallow a number of mousetraps just before your death.

Del Sweetcheeks

Beirut

Clivey

 

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8 Comments

Filed under The League Of Mental Men

8 responses to “Letters To LOMM: Double Missive Spectacular!

  1. Every 28 days?? Hell, I do that on a daily basis. Every 28 days they have to clear the road when I drive!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on mikesteeden and commented:
    Insane satire at its very best.

    Like

  3. Wiv me getting made redundant for the forth time, then the medics and the government taking away me licence after me operation, this meant I was unsafe to drive, but couldn’t afford a car anyway.
    However I do have me bus-pass, and am reasonably able to hobble around a bit.
    Just thought I’d mention it.
    I’ll put the kettle on then…

    Like

    • sozsatire

      Two sugars for me please Inchy and none of that Sweetex muck either! It gives you cancer that does. A geezer down the pub told me! ūüė¶

      Like

      • No sugar in this house Clivey me son.
        This house is concious of good health and dangerous foodstuff yer know?
        I keep fit by paragliding, kick-boxing, mountain climbing and running the Nottingham marathon each year.
        Oh… and I fib a bit too. Hehehe!
        Hope all okay cocker. Cheers me dears.

        Like

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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