British Troops Mass Outside Maracana In Bid To Seize World Cup

jones

“Don’t panic! Don’t panic Captain Mainwaring sir. We’ll bring it back to blighty for you sir”

 

A build up of British troops and heavy armour was last night reported to be taking place outside the Maracana football stadium in Rio De Janeiro in what is believed to be an audacious bid to seize the World Cup from under the noses of the Germans and the Argentinians, who are due to contest Sunday’s final tie, by military force.

The head of The British Armed Forces, General Rupert Thompson, said last night. “It should be an absolute doddle seizing the World Cup from these foreign johnnies and taking it back to Blighty. After all, we’ve already given the Krauts a damn good thrashing in two world wars, and as for the Argies, it only took us a couple of hours to kick the blighters out of The Falklands. The only slight problem I can foresee is if the Yanks join in and bomb some of our chaps by mistake. I can’t wait for our boys to get stuck into them to be honest”

The sport’s governing body, FIFA, last night held an emergency general meeting during which the Russians demanded the eastern half of the stadium after the fighting is over, while the Italian delegate hurled himself to the ground with his hands behind his head and began asking for his mum.

Reuters

Clivey.

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10 Comments

Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire

10 responses to “British Troops Mass Outside Maracana In Bid To Seize World Cup

  1. I love this one.
    Another gem from the genius. This author-man who should be leading this once great nation, for he would surely bring back the wealth, fame, pride and chronically needed stupefaction element to the masses, and become himself the most admired man in the country!
    I’ll take me medications now then…

    Like

  2. sozsatire

    Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE and commented:
    I’ll reblog this one here so that people I’ve actually heard of and whose blogs I actually read on occasion can also revel in it’s sheer, poorly-written, banality 🙂

    Like

  3. certainly no concern for political correctness 😀 Bravo.

    Like

  4. alienorajt

    Me name’s Fawn O’Grovel, and oi’m a leprechaun, from de Emerald Oisle – and Oi’m genuflecting before dis outstanding piece of almost Kafka-esque prose. Shoves our very own James Joyce roight to de back of de literary queue. Now remember me name, O’Grovel, and Oi fawn for Ireland.

    Oh bugger off, you revolting little green R-Slicker; you ain’t foolin’ any of us!

    Reblogging, chaps, cos a belly laugh in the morning is worth any number of pointless awards and tinny plaudits in the afternoon!

    Like

  5. alienorajt

    Reblogged this on ALIEN AURA'S BLOG: IT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND! and commented:
    Having watched Netherlands versus Argentina last night, having looked upon the twinkling left foot and scary visage of the former’s Robben and seen the latter’s Messi come good in the Penalty Shoot-out, I am ALL for a bit of pertinent satire.

    Like

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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