Pistorius Trial Halted To Await His Death

oops

The world was  kept waiting again today as the seemingly interminable trial of former Paralympian hero, Oscar Pistorius, was halted for the fourth time after his legal team called for an adjournment on the grounds that their client could be in danger of dying at some point in the future.

Pistorius, who as pretty much everyone with half a brain knows, murdered his girlfriend in cold blood by shooting her through the bathroom door, wept in the dock as his attorney told the court that Pistorius could quite feasibly contract a fatal illness, suffer a mortal self-inflicted wound whilst cleaning his gun or even die of old age at some unforeseen time in the future, and that it would be an infringement of his human rights to continue with the trial with this uncertain fate hanging over him.

As Pistorius left court carrying a golf bag he told waiting reporters “This has been a terrible ordeal for myself and my family. Right now all I want to do is jet off to Bermuda for a round or two of golf, a few drinks with friends and to be allowed to face the prospect of having to die at some point in peace”

Press Association

Clivey

 

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8 Comments

Filed under Satire

8 responses to “Pistorius Trial Halted To Await His Death

  1. He’s probably off to the nearest pub to get legle…… oh.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s true. That’s why his attorneys make the big bucks. Deep thinkers!

    Like

  3. I like this one. A-plus.

    Like

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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