Dear League Of Mental Men
This Saturday afternoon I’m re-enacting The Battle Of Rorke’s Drift in London’s Hyde Park.
If you’re free between 3.00pm and half past, are of good stout British stock, possess steely resolve and a keenness to slaughter a few Fuzzy Wuzzies, please send a breathless rider on horseback with a bit of blood smeared on his cheek to my London barracks with your inside leg measurement and rifle size and I’ll get you kitted out asap.
People that look like Stanley Baker or know all the words to Men Of Harlech will be particularly welcome.
I’m also looking for direct descendants of the legendary Zulu warrior, Prince Dabulamanzi, to make up an awe inspiring multitude of bloodthirsty natives to stand on a hillside, eclipsing the very sun itself whilst stamping their feet up and down and banging on their shields with an Assegai.
People who look particularly warlike and who can say “OOOOOOOOOOOOO” for a long time will be given preference…….No Blacks!
Maj. Gen. Front-Rank-Fire