Germany Prepares To Honour British D-Day Deserters

A band of D-Day deserters help fallen comrades after a good skinful on Southend Beach in 1944

To mark the 70th anniversary of the Normandy D-Day landings a number of British soldiers, who went AWOL shortly before the invasion took place, are to be honoured by the German government today.

Chancellor Angela Merkel will personally meet a number of cowardly milksops at a gala dinner in Berlin this evening.

Speaking to pressmen last night Merkel said:

“It’s thanks to the cowardly, reprehensible actions of men like these that even more of our granddads weren’t shot or blown up on that terrible day. It’s only fitting that we honour them in this way”

One of the conscripts who got the wind up and went home just hours before the operation’s launch, Billy Davenport, 98, from East London, appeared visibly moved as he recounted how he and a couple of mates dived into some bushes as their unit was on its way to the south coast.

“I’ll never forget that day as long as I live. The jeep we were in was driving through a wooded area, so myself and two other lads jumped out and hid behind some trees until the coast was clear. We then found the nearest pub and had a good skinful before we all hopped on a train home. I spent the rest of the war with my feet up listening to news of how our lads were getting on on the radio and dodging the Military Police boys.”

It is understood that following a moving ceremony to honour the men, they will be taken under military escort back to England and shot at dawn.

Clivey