Marvin Milf And His Unintentional Filth

snooker

Just look at those balls!

 

As a gentleman of independent means I’m fortunate enough to own a full size snooker table and it’s often my wont to play a frame or two after supper on most evenings.

Last Friday I was indulging in my favourite pastime when my cleaning lady, Madge, entered with some rather toothsome homemade bread rolls along with a cup of black coffee and a cannister of finest devon cream whitener.

By way of gratitude I asked her if she’d care to join me for a frame or two and she readily agreed.

Unfortunately her initial break off shot left the red balls scattered around the table. On top of this the white ball had finished tucked up against the side cushion which resulted in my having to hold the cue rather awkwardly in order to play my next shot. However I managed to make the pot and was about to play my next shot when I noticed that the tip of my cue had become scuffed and partially dislodged. I asked Madge if she would mind fitting a new one while I ate the refreshments she had so kindly brought in. She was good enough to agree to my request and began to remove it while I sat down to eat.

I must confess that the rolls were so delicious I rather made a pig of myself and wolfed them down hungrily. I then turned my attention to the coffee and made to squirt the cream into the cup. Unfortunately I had the cannister pointing in the wrong direction and accidentally directed some onto a pair of door fixtures that Madge had been polishing for me earlier.

Yes it will be quite some time before I ever forget the day when… My cleaning woman spread them wide on the table and confronted me with an almost impossible position. I had to grip my long implement midway down the shaft before driving one firmly into the hole. I then asked her to get to grips with my reddened tip and she got to work on it straight away. I then began gnawing hungrily on her delicious brown baps before shooting huge gobs of white creamy mess all over her lovely shiny knockers.

Next Week: We take up soccer and I dribble skilfully around the edge of her box before driving a long one right between her uprights.

CD

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17 Comments

Filed under Humor, Humour

17 responses to “Marvin Milf And His Unintentional Filth

  1. 😮 ^^’

    Oh my goodness! Do you know how many Hail Mary’s I’m going to have to do, to cleanse my soul after reading this? Very naughty……

    ……..but funny! x

    Mama, DON’T. READ. THIS. ONE!!

    Like

    • leagueofmentalmen

      Begob and begorrah me darlin’! It’s a catlick you are den is it? Did you hear about the Irishman who wore 3 condoms? He wanted to be sure…to be sure…to be sure.

      BA DOOM TISH! 😀 x

      CD

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lol! My skin colouring is far too dark to be Irish. Some of the family are ‘catlick,’ though…. mum for instance.

        Talking of mum…….she insisted I read this skit out to her, after I mentioned that she shouldn’t read it if she happens to look on here again. Talk about stammering as I got to that last section. Think I made such a hash of it, she didn’t quite get it. Thank the lord!! xx

        Like

      • leagueofmentalmen

        I’ve spent my entire adult life “not quite getting it” princess.
        That’ll teach me to be hideously deformed and with a minuscule penis wont it?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Some of my best friends are hideously deformed with minuscule penises……….I’ve never held it against them….

        ….either! 😛 x

        Like

      • leagueofmentalmen

        I can only assume you’re a member of The United Kingdom Independence Party then Touch 😛 x

        Like

  2. I say, sir…steady on. I mean, just …steady on!

    This is quite disgraceful.

    I mean, a red tip for snooker – frightfully bad form! They should only be used for that dreadfully inferior ex-colonial transatlantic game.

    Like

    • leagueofmentalmen

      I couldn’t agree more old boy but you know what they say? What happens in America today happens in dear old blighty tomorrow.

      Why only yesterday I was seized by a giant gorilla who then climbed to the top of The Shard where we were both strafed by machine gun fire from a number of biplanes.

      Still you don’t like to grumble do you? 😦

      CD

      Like

      • A gorilla, you say? Egad!

        It wasn’t that dreadful Damon Albarn chap was it? If so, then I suspect that biplanez would need to be replaced by Eurofightaz in order to properly see off the blighter.

        Like

      • leagueofmentalmen

        No it wasn’t him thank The Lord Harry. This cove had a much more pleasant singing voice and was marginally more hairy across the buttockzzzzz

        Like

  3. Liz

    Well, not only will it be quite some time before I, too, forget the day, but I’m pretty sure I want to take up snooker. And I’ll add, as a little aside…I work at a recreation center with pool tables and I’ve been known to say, “Please keep your balls on the table.” (hee-hee)

    Like

  4. Yikes! It’s a good thing you weren’t playing croquet!

    Like

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

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