Queen And Prince Philip Had Two-In-A-Bed Sex Romp Claims Palace Aide

queen and philip

The Royal Couple Pictured Trying To Look All Innocent Last Night 

 

A former Buckingham Palace worker has made the astonishing claim that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and her husband Prince Philip, The Duke Of Edinburgh, indulged in a steamy sex session when he was on duty at the palace in the late 1940s.

The ex-flunky, who was employed as an evening cocoa wallah to the royal couple, told us that the saucy royals had a no-holds barred romp while he was warming the milk for their Horlicks following a boozy evening in front of the television with The Queen Mother and The Sultan Of Brunei in 1948.

Billy Stutters, 98, told us “The Queen and Philip retired to the royal bedchamber at around 1.00am that night. Both had been drinking heavily for a number of hours. Her Majesty had necked the best part of a bottle of Sambuca and Philip had been tucking into pints of Youngs Ramrod all afternoon and evening. I could tell they were the worse for wear when The Queen knocked over a coffee table on the way to the lavatory and Prince Philip called her a “clumsy mare”

“About 20 minutes after they’d retired for the night I knocked on the door and went in with their customary hot drinks. I realised almost immediately they’d been having sex. The Queen’s hair was dishevelled, her tiara was lop-sided and The Duke was sweating like a bull. I noticed also that the bed coverlet was a bit tented on The Duke’s side, clearly indicating that he still had a bit of a lazy lob on. Around 9 months later Prince Charles was born which says it all really”

A Palace spokesman hotly denied the claims last night. “It’s absolutely ridiculous” he told reporters. “It’s a well known fact that the Queen and The Duke have never had sexual relations during their entire marriage. They have always used specially trained servants for this purpose whose designated duty is to romp naked on their behalf whenever The Duke gets a bit fruity after a night on the grog or following a good win for one of Her Majesty’s horses at the racetrack”

This latest revelation will shock royal lovers throughout the country, still reeling from the news that Princess Margaret gave ex Prime Minister Harold Wilson a crafty wank under the tablecloth at a swish reception for Commonwealth leaders at The Guild Hall in 1971.

CD

Please visit our mag here: http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire If you don’t I’ll come round and shout down your earoles.

Advertisements

14 Comments

Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire

14 responses to “Queen And Prince Philip Had Two-In-A-Bed Sex Romp Claims Palace Aide

  1. That Sir is my empty brain get out of jail card – a true gem to kick the day off!

    Like

  2. Good God man my head is spinning.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The Queen swigging Sambuca… what a thought.

    Like

    • leagueofmentalmen

      She doesn’t actually “swig it” Ted. She gets a flunky to dip a small piece of ermine into the bottle which she then sucks on repeatedly until she’s got her load on.
      Oh yes.

      CD

      Like

    • leagueofmentalmen

      Did I ever tell you about the time I ran over an orthodox Jewish gentleman in Bethnal Green Rachel? Well it was like this…Hey where did you go??? 😦

      CD

      Liked by 1 person

  4. chinahand11

    Hysterical post. I often wish we had royals over here sometimes, we only have politicians to make fun of.

    Like

  5. Good for when democracy fails.

    Like

PLEASE BE GENTLE. WE SATIRISTS CAN DISH IT OUT BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s