Deaf In The Afternoon. An everyday story of hard of hearing cannon fodder folk.

blackadder

 


British lines trenches 1916
Inside the command centre, there is chaos.

“The Hun are shelling us again sir!” Shouts Cpl Jenkins.
“I know, Jenkins, can we have tea?” replies Captain Fuller.
“I’ve had one sir”.
“What?”
“A wee sir”
“No Jenkins! Can you make tea!”
“Yes Sir”.

Jenkins goes off to make the tea. In the meantime new orders arrive.
Captain Fuller looks worried. Could this be the big push?

“Here’s your tea sir” Says Cpl Jenkins.
“Whisky in it?” Asks Captain Fuller.
“We don’t have one sir”.
“Don’t have what?”
“A cat sir”.
“A cat?!”
“Yes sir, the whiskers in your tea sir”
“Whisky man!…Whisky!”
“Sorry sir, it’s the shelling”
“Yes, it must effect the ears”.
“Go and get some beers sir? Right away sir”.
“Where are you going Jenkins?”
“Get the beer sir”.
“For gods sake Jenkins! You must listen more carefully”.
“Yes sir”.

Captain Fuller leaves the command post to visit the latrine.
In the meantime a runner arrives with an important message.

“Hello Alf, what’s going on?” Asks Cpl Jenkins.
“I’ve got an urgent message for Captain Fuller!” .
“What is it?”
“The platoon must go over the top at once”.
“You get off Alf, I will let him know”.
“Cheers Fred”.

Captain Fuller returns to the command post.

“You okay sir?”
“Very scary Jenkins”
“I don’t think you are sir”
“Don’t think I’m what Jenkins?”
“Hairy sir”.
“For gods sake! Has there been any messages?”
“Yes Sir”
“Well!?”
“HQ want the platoon to go over to the shop sir”
“The shop!?”
“Yes sir”
“Are you sure!?”
“Stand on me sir”…

GH.

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3 Comments

Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire

3 responses to “Deaf In The Afternoon. An everyday story of hard of hearing cannon fodder folk.

    • leagueofmentalmen

      Even I laffed at this and I can’t abide the man! He leaned on my missus’s offside wing mirror once you know? Where’s the fairness in that then? 😦
      Clivey

      Liked by 2 people

  1. garyhoadley

    And Mr Danton once shouted abuse at one of my hanging baskets.
    The wife was traumatised for at least an hour.
    GH

    Like

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